PICTURE PERFECT

The Frame.

Imagine your life as a piece of art. The frame consists of your personality, your physical characteristics, and your gifts and abilities. It’s probably no news to anyone that many women, instead of thanking God for the frame He’s given them, spend their time trying to change it.

I once read a revealing story about such a woman. She was not satisfied with the frame God built for her. She was sure her physical and emotional disabilities, her lack of abilities, were a cross she had to bear. She wished she could choose another frame.

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EVERYDAY HABITS OF CONTENTMENT

Hello with good vibes! This past few day was honestly hard but I am not going to reveal those. Anyways, while I am spending my days and nights at the hospital, I need some words to calm my mind including my internal organs 🙂 (Ako lang Kasi ang magiting na taga pagbantay…) Then, I found an old book, Christian book actually, that can help you to calm your katawang lupa. Yes! It really helps me to live through such pains. Just want to share those words if ever I have readers 😀 Yes if you are suffering from pains, fears, etc. This is for you! Yeah it is easy to read, a bit hard to apply but I vow, super effective siya. Lalo na pag sinimulan mo siyang gawin pag dilat ng iyong mata 🙂 🙂 🙂

Here’s the list: Hinga munang Malalim.

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WHITE NEW YEAR

This is my first blog this year after several months na literal na walang update. Yes! Ngayon lang nangati yung kamay ko. Today is New Year’s eve. Konting oras nalang mag-puputukan na. Makakarinig na ako ng fireworks display. You read it right, makakarinig (abangers sa radio lang diba…) It’s my very first white New Year. White walls, white bed sheets, white door, white floor, people wearing a white uniform, lab gowns, as in literal na white. Yung EMERGENCY lang yung naiibang kulay na nakikita ko, para sakin.

Yiruma’s Greatest Hits, pasoook!

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SA PANGALAWANG PAGKAKATAON

Nanginginig akong nakatayo sa malaking lumang pintuan. Kabado. Namumutil ang pawis. Pero ito na to. Ito na talaga at wala na itong atrasan pa.

Unti-onti ng bumubukas ang malaking lumang pintuan sa aking harapan. Yumuko akong nakangiti kahit nanginginig. Kasaba’y nito, ay dahan-dahan ko namang iniangat ang masayang mukha ko.

Bukas na ang pintuan. Nakangiti akong naluluha sa saya. Hindi ko maipaliwanag. Basta.

Nagtataka. Nanlaki ang aking mga mata.

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PAGPILI

Isa, dalawa, tatlong minuto.

Apat, lima, anim na oras.

Pito, walo, siyam na buwan. Nadagdagan pa ng tatlo, isang taon… pumikit ako, ayoko na. Naluluha ako, parang ayoko na.

Paulit-ulit kong tinanong ang aking sarili, kaya mo pa ba? Ako naman si tanga, sasagot “Oo, kaya ko pa, kaya ko pa, diba?”. Kahit sa tuwing susubukan kong tumingin sa paligid, palingon palang ako, ramdam ko na ang pag-iling nila. Yung sabay-sabay, paulit-ulit, nakakarinding “Tama na, sumuko kana. Isuko mo na sya”.

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ILANG ARAW

Dalawang oras at kalahati na lamang ang natitira, alas dose na. Yung sa dami ng aking ginagawa, ni hindi ko man lang naisip na batiin ka.

Isang minuto ang nakalipas, nang isulat ko yung unang talata na naisip ko. Ang bilis ng oras. Sobrang bilis. Gusto kong habulin pero imposible. Pero, bakit ko hahabulin ang oras? May dapat ba kong balikan? Panghinayangan? May dapat ba akong itama at gawin na hindi ko nagawa? Alam ko wala. Sigurado ako wala.

Hindi ko pa man nasisimulan isulat ang hindi ko alam kung tula ba ito o isang uri ng kwento, nalulungkot na ako. Naluluha.

Apat na pu’t apat na araw na lang…

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